23 & Married.
There has been a lot going on in my life lately. I feel like the last couple months have been a roller coaster ride packed with joy, stress, and busyness. Granted, I think all those things are appropriate at one time or another, but it’s all in the way that you treat, and react to them. Being married has been a huge growing process for me. It is extraordinary to see all the selfishness that begins to be rooted out, once you tie the knot. I think you realize that any expectation that you ever had, anything you ever drank or ate, and things that you did for fun, when you were single, were rooted basically in selfishness. Granted, when you’re single, you look out for numero uno right? Or at least that is what culture teaches.
It’s been an amazing trip to say the least. I think I, like many twenty three year olds, were frightened at the thought of being married at my age. Something immediately popped into my head. “What would I lose, or never get to experience once I was married?” I think once I realized what I was thinking, it really showed me how amazingly self centered I was. I’m not saying that if you want to experience things, then you should just tell yourself to shut up, and get married. I am just saying make sure that your mind set is in the right place. The only reasons I had for not getting married were because I wanted more for myself. It made me re think my desires, loves, and idols. What were the things that really had a hold of my life. What would I not be willing to give up and why? It was a good time of reflection, I can tell you that.
I think the biggest thing I learned from that time of reflection was that, if I really desired to walk with Jesus, If I really wanted to desire what He desires, live how he lived, and have faith like He does, then how would I continue to do that? How would I be strengthened? And that is when I knew that I needed to learn to love selflessly. I needed to remove all expectations, fantasies, and lusts from my thinking, in order to be able to think clearly, and love someone the way that Christ loves me. This is something that the culture does not understand, and sometimes I don’t understand. But I hope that Melanie (my wife) and I can become a reflection of the love that Christ has for us. He came to love, even when we didn’t deserve it. I hope that I can love Melanie like that always. I know it will be hard, and I won’t always want to, but I will CHOOSE to.
Now, we are living life, and moving forward with great momentum. I work at an amazing Branding Agency, and she has an awesome job at one of the most amazing technology companies this side of Simi Valley (Apple Inc). We decorate our apartment, work on our blogs, and our favorite, watch TV Shows and movies together. She’s a pretty rad person ;) to say the least.
I hope that you are encouraged by this post. There are a lot of great things in this world, but none as great as Jesus Christ. Grab a bible sometime. Read about him. He’s the real world changer.
Chuck
